It’s somehow a week 13 recap and a week 14 preview episode all rolled into one, but still considerably shorter than a regular episode—must be that holiday magic! Listen, if you must! Has something we said, or failed to say, made you FEEL something? You can tell us all about it by joining the conversation on our Substack or you can send us an email here. Enjoy!
Show Rundown
Open — Special Guests! And Abe Live Bets the Games!
7:04 — Week 13 Recap!
25:31 — The Best Game in Every Time Slot
37:17 — CIB 2025 Football Pick ‘em Contest
42:16 — Jimmy Carter’s Presidential Lock of the Week, live from…Springfield?
46:40 — Wrap-up!
The Best Game in Every Time Slot
We have the now-traditional three Thanksgiving NFL games and one college game, and then a full slate of college games on Friday with the NFL trying to steal some attention with a Prime game at 3:00, but fuck that game.
Thanksgiving Football!
1:00 PM
Packers @ Lions FOX
4:30 PM
Chiefs @ Cowboys CBS
7:30 PM
Navy @ Memphis ESPN
Friday
12:00 PM
(6) Ole Miss (-7.5) @ Mississippi State (O/U 62.5) ABC
3:30 PM
(4) Georgia (-12.5) @ (23) Georgia tek (O/U 59.5) ABC (Megatron’s Butthole)
7:30 PM
(3) Texas A&M (-2.5) @ (16) Texas (O/U 51.5) ABC
Saturday
Noon
(1) Ohio State (-9.5) @ (15) Michigan (O/U 45.5) FOX
Noon — Second TV QUADBOX
(13) Miami (-6.5) @ Pittsburgh (O/U 51.5) ABC
Clemson (+2.5) @ South Carolina (O/U 46.5) SECN
Kentucky (+3.5) @ Louisville (O/U 47.5) ACCN
(5) Texas Tech (-20.5) @ West Virginia
3:30
(12) Vanderbilt (+2.5) @ (18) Tennessee (O/U 64.5) ESPN
3:30 — Second TV QUADBOX
(5) Oregon (-6.5) @ Washington (O/U 53.5) CBS
LSU (+10.5) @ (8) Oklahoma (O/U 38.5) ABC
Missouri (-2.5) @ Arkansas (O/U 58.5) SECN
Florida State (+2.5) @ Florida (O/U 51.5) ESPN2 (4:30)
7:30
(10) Alabama (-5.5) @ Auburn (O/U 48.5) ABC
7:00 — Second TV SICKOS QUADBOX
Virginia Tech (+11.5) @ (17) Virginia (O/U 52.5) ESPN
SMU (-12.5) @ California (O/U 52.5) ESPN2 (8:00)
Northwestern (+6.5) @ Illinois (O/U 47.5) FOX
Maryland (+3.5) @ Michigan State (O/U 47.5) FS1
10:30
(9) Notre Dame (-32.5) @ Stanford (O/U 52.5) ESPN
CIB Pick’em Contest
Abe — 225 points
Mississippi State, Texas, Vanderbilt, Auburn, NC State (-7.5)
Bob — 210 points
Vanderbilt, Clemson, Arkansas, Florida State, Maryland
Cousin Steve — 207 points
TKTKTK
Lori — 172 points
Pittsburgh, Kentucky, Syracuse, Wisconsin, Wake Forest
President Jimmy Carter’s Lock of the Week, Live from Plains
November 24, 2025
Hello once again to my dear friends at Cast Iron Balls, and also to Abe, a wretched, shriveled husk of a man, an oversalted raisin at the bottom of the trail mix, curious as a sleeping sheep, a man with all the imagination of a dull seven-year-old, which leads him to make truly outrageous claims like “Oh, I think this old person will die soon,” and “my favorite team will win the Super Bowl,” bless his tiny little bureaucrat’s heart. But a man for whom I am nevertheless quite thankful, this week and all the weeks, as his doltish and cloddish example reminds us always of how dizzyingly high humanity can reach from such a mundane and uninspiring floor.
The holiday season is fully upon us up here in heaven. Just last night I attended a Christmas concert—a barbershop quartet called The Dear Leader and The Bastards of Bethlehem, who were of course led by Kim Jong Il, and included that gin rummy fiend Marlon Brando and Sammy Davis, Jr, and their newest member, Charlie Kirk, who apparently replaced my old friend, the Georgia Peach himself, Ty Cobb in the quartet. And what a show they put on! You might think it a little early for Christmas tunes, but as Rosalynn always used to say when the carolers would come by, “There’s only two things I can’t get enough of in this world—Publix macaroni salad and a remorseless pounding, and the deli’s closed, so bring on the strange!” Lord, how I miss her.
Anyway, as for my pick this week, I ain’t heard a line so delightfully queer as that Iron Bowl spread since Lindsey Graham said Pussy Galore was the greatest James Bond character because of her “attitude toward life.” But I’m feeling like a lucky five-kernel peanut after winning last week, and I can’t help but lay those five and a half points and put all my money on Alabama to whip Auburn like the little coachless, orphaned sons of bitches they are. Roll Tide!
More than ever, enjoy the games this lovely Thanksgiving with good food and drink, and most importantly, good company. And be kind to one another, for gosh sakes. Almost nothing matters, besides that. May god bless this great nation, and this great podcast. Until next time, this is Jimmy from Plains for Cast Iron Balls.
The opening and closing themes of Cast Iron Balls were composed by Marc Gillig. For more from Marc, go to tetramermusic.com.
The background music for Jimmy Carter’s Presidential Lock of the Week is “Bama Country” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
